i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize