She said her name was "party"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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