Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
