Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
is that a dick in a sweater?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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