I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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