I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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