I'm drive I can fine osifer
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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