if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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