She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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