He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
