if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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