why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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