Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
