ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
