Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
