You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
