I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
