drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
