I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
