i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
