My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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