think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
