then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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