I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
