K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize