you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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