you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
