hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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