remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
