After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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