So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
