Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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