Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
