ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
