K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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