Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
