Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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