If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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