Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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