4 words: hood of his car
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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