Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize