Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
