He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
