I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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