I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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