I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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