Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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