A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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