dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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