I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
