Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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