69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
