you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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