I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
