After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
