I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
