Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
