NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
