I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
