so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize