Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
