I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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