I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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