it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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