ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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